Rev Bill

Purpose 2 in Rick Warren’s book The Purpose Driven Life is:

You Were Formed For God’s Family

In day 20 Warren addresses what should happen when fellowship within the Church or group is broken.

He begins with the sentence: Relationships are always worth restoring. Christ wants us to be known for our love (John 13:35) — so when conflicts arise within the fellowship of Christians we should work to restore the fellowship the conflict has broken. The question is — how do you restore fellowship when there has been conflict? Warren makes 7 suggestions.

1. Talk to God — then talk to others.
If you pray about the conflict before talking to others, God might change your heart about the situation, or change the heart of the person you are in conflict with.

2. Take the initiative.
It can be difficult to take the first step in resolving a conflict, especially if you are convinced you are right. However, Jesus commands us to do this! (Matthew 5:23-24)

3. Sympathize with how the other person is feeling.
Listen to them. Use your ears more than your mouth! Try to understand their point — and let them know you understand them — even if you do not agree with them.

4. Confess your part.
Admit your sins and mistakes that lead to the conflict. Conflicts are resolved much faster if we “own up” to our mistakes instead of demanding the other person “own up” to theirs.

5. Attack the problem, not the person.
You can’t resolve a problem if you’re consumed with blaming the other person.

6. Cooperate as much as possible.
Be willing to “give in” — to compromise!

7. Emphasize reconciliation.
There are times we have to agree to be reconciled to each other – even if we can’t resolve the problems that might exist between us. At times we have to “agree to disagree”.

If you are really interested in being in a fellowship where true sharing and caring can take place, you have to be willing to address the inevitable conflicts that will occur. These 7 suggestions can help us be followers of Christ — who said:

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9)

Lord — Help me to be a peacemaker. Help me to follow Your will and work to restore fellowship when it is broken. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

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